A Few Things You Should Know When Dealing With a Pregnant Woman

Or in other words: "A Few Things You Should Know When Dealing With Me!"

By Clarissa Enos Plagmann

Every pregnancy is different. And I do mean EVERY pregnancy is different. This means that your first pregnancy is probably going to be different from subsequent pregnancies. And just because you know one pregnant lady, doesn’t mean you know anything about another pregnant lady. Every. Pregnancy. Is. Different.

For me, pregnancy has been a wild roller coaster ride. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, and then I was so anxious that I was going to miscarry (there are many reasons, and I may at some future date write about that as well). And then, I was sick. A lot. I mean, I was nauseous all the time, and if I exerted myself at all I was breathless and would even have random spells where I felt faint and dizzy. And this has continued into the second trimester. On the other hand, I’ve known women who had no trouble working and continuing their active lifestyle during pregnancy, and they didn’t really have morning sickness at all. All of this is completely normal. For me, working hasn’t been something I could think about because I’m so sick all the time, and that’s okay.

What I’m trying to say is: Never compare your previous pregnancy to your current pregnancy. Never compare your pregnancy to someone else’s pregnancy. And definitely do not ever compare one woman’s pregnancy to another woman’s pregnancy. When it comes to pregnancy, you really know nothing. So just don’t.

On a related note, never touch a pregnant woman’s belly without asking for her permission first. First of all, you have no idea if her stomach is in pain at that exact moment. Second of all, you have no idea if she is comfortable with others touching her stomach. After all, it is still her body. Just because she has a baby inside her uterus doesn’t mean you automatically have the right to touch her all of a sudden. Third of all, just don’t do it. It’s not polite.

If you would like to touch her belly, ask. If she says no and offers some vague excuse (even if you don’t agree) just accept it and move on. And this goes for anyone, whether she is your daughter, daughter-in-law, a niece, a random woman in a store, or even your best friend. It doesn’t matter. You still ask before touching her.

And, you know what, some women won’t mind at all, even if you don’t ask. And that’s okay, too, but speaking from personal experience, don’t touch my belly without asking first, because I do not like being touched on my stomach. Just ask my husband.

Last, but certainly not least, if a pregnant woman cancels plans with you, don’t take it personally. Some days I just don’t feel like leaving the house for whatever reason. Some days I’m legitimately feeling sick and can’t get out of bed. Some days my emotions are going crazy and I’m depressed, anxious, happy, paranoid, excited, sad, and upset all at once! You never know why a pregnant woman might not want to get out and do something. My point is, don’t take it personally and please don’t judge. You don’t know what’s going on with her. (And trust me, I rarely tell the whole story about my thoughts, feelings, and exactly how I’m feeling at any given moment to anyone but my husband, so chances are you don’t know the full story.)

I hope that you are all having a fantastic weekend, and that you enjoy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

<3Clarissa